Infertility

Sucks!!

 

Since many of you know me, you are already aware of the journey that God has had me on for the past 10 years. For those of you that I am recently able to call family or friends through my marriage with Laird I will share the journey with you.

 

From when I can remember it has always been a dream of mine to be a Mom. As a child you often get asked what you want to be when you grow up. My answer was always pretty simple.... " I wanted to be a princess, a singer, a baby doctor, a wife and of course A MOMMY." Growing up I never took into consideration how hard this could actually be or what a privelage it is to have children, because In only a matter of minutes that can be taken from you. I always believed that when I was ready to have babies, I would. God had a different plan for me though. In August 2004, at the age of 21, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer and my life was turned upside down!

 

As I sat in my Oncologists office listening to him explain the details of my surgery, but being in denial of the entire situation, telling myself that this was no big deal, I let my parents do all the talking and ask majority of the questions. However, the two things I was most worried about I made sure I asked. The first one was "Am I going to be able to have kids?" and the second "Will I have a nasty scar?" of course at 21 that was a huge thing for me. My Doctor went into depth on how as long as the surgery and treatment was succesful, my chances of getting pregnant would not be an issue. So after feeling comfortable with that, I sat and cried about the 6 inch scar that would be left. The funny thing is, I still just didn't get it. I was so worried about a scar on my stomach because I just didn't see how it wasn't possible for me to have children. The "nasty scar" that I was so upset about has turned out to be the least of my worries and It humbles me everyday, a reminder of the how blessed I am to be alive and to share my story. I have always been a believer in God and was raised by parents that made sure we knew who God was. The times during my battle with Ovarian Cancer, I wasn't so sure anymore. What a great God He is though, even with the lack in my faith, He stood by my side and brought me through it. After a surgery, painful recovery and horrible 3 months of aggresive treatment my Doctors told me I was Cancer FREE!!

 

So here we are almost 10 years of being a cancer survivor and there is still one thing missing, a baby! Most of you know that I was married before and that having a baby was a huge priority in my life even then, but God has a plan for everything! Although at times it has been hard for me to understand the reason why I am 31 with no kids, one thing I do know is that God has provided me with a wonderful life of ups and downs and has brought me to a place of pure happiness, peace and a love that I could never imagine. I may not have always believed in Gods timing but, I DO NOW! Laird is not only the man of my dreams and a wonderful Husband but he is the man that God provided to be the father to my children. We are so in love with each other and we want nothing more than to share that love with a child or children of our own. Eventhough, I may never be a Princess or Singer, God has finally brought me to peace with my past so that I can share a wonderful future as a Wife and Mom.

 

With that said ..... Through many conversations and a lot of prayer, Laird and I beleive that God is ready for us to be parents. We are in the process of starting Invetro Fertilization and while Laird has been in Afghanistan I have already taken the first steps. I was fortunate enough to find an excellent Fertility Specialist here in Utah and recently had a surgery to repair some issues with my uterus. The next step for us is to start hormones....JOY!! Not only will this process be emotionally stressful, it will be a fianancial stress as well. Knowing that insurance does not cover Infertility, we Started to prepare our selves financially in January, However, we still have a ways to go. The cost of IVF is somewhere between $12,000 and $15,000 per session but we are willing to pay whatever we need to in order to be parents. Laird and I are so blessed to have family and friends that love us and want to see this dream of becoming parents come true. We ask that during this process you keep us in your prayers, share our story with friends and if you are capable of helping financially in any way we would be more than appreciative. Once we are further along into IVF we are planning on starting a blog to keep all of you in the loop, until then please be patient with us and know that we love you, appreciate you and will update you when we know something. Thank you and God Bless!!

 

" You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16:11